Heading off to College! (with my little friend, Anxiety)

I know many friends and other young adults who are heading off to their first year of college, so I knew exactly what I wanted my first blog post to be about. Being anxious is very normal when you are starting a new "normal". This topic is very personal to me because last year was my freshmen year of college and, going into it, I was an anxious mess. This sort of anxiety is completely normal and expected even! Starting a new chapter of your life in a new place can be very anxiety provoking. The initial change and new environment can be overwhelming, but with a positive and optimistic mindset, along with helpful routines and habits, you will become golden. If you are entering college, please give this post a read! I am going to share with you my freshmen college experience (as an extremely anxious girly) and the ways I helped myself adapt to, and even fall in love with, this new chapter of my life.

I want to begin with this- I have spent my entire life with my little friend, Separation Anxiety, right by my side. At first, she wasn't so much a friend, but now I have learned helpful techniques to get her off my back! Knowing how to deal with her makes her much more tolerable. I grew up latching onto my mom whenever she would leave the house and being late to school because I could not leave her side. I would cry hysterically until someone physically had to remove me from her. I would always leave sleepovers in the middle of the night, until we decided all the sleepovers would take place at my own house. I have been in and out of therapy since fourth grade. In high school I never felt I needed therapy until halfway through my senior year. This was when we were all starting to make our decisions for the next year. I went back to therapy because I made the decision to, ironically, commit to a college that was 10 hours away from home (So much for having all the sleepovers at my house). This came as a shock to quite literally everyone I knew- people who have grown up with me, my family, my closest friends, my guidance counselor, and even to myself! I was the girl who could not even spend one night away from home. But you know what they say, love makes you do crazy things. I fell in love with The College of Charleston as soon as I saw the campus. I hadn't even toured, yet I knew it was the place for me. I just knew. What I also knew, however, was that it was going to be hard. Packing up and leaving my small hometown, the only place I had ever known as home. Starting a whole new chapter of my life, in a new place, with all new people. I knew my anxiety was going to try to talk me out of following my dreams to Charleston, which is why I knew I had to ask for help and go back to therapy. My therapist truly helped me think of life in a simpler way which eased so much of my worries. She helped me separate who I truly am (within my soul!) from the anxious thoughts that often weigh me down. Remember, you are not your anxiety.

When move-in day came along, I was in a constant state of panic the entire day. I couldn't even set up my cute room decor or help my dad build my night stand because soon enough I knew my family would be right back in Pennsylvania and I'd be here. That day I had no sense of gratitude or excitement, it was all too overwhelming. I was second guessing everything. I don't blame myself for the way I was feeling, because it was definitely the hardest day of my life, but I like to look back now and recognize how far I have come. It was hard, but not impossible. And I can assure you, it won't be impossible for you either.

Most people can agree, the first week or two of college is the hardest part, yet also so exciting! I was a nervous wreck, yet also having so much fun. It was a weird time. (TMI incoming...) I am not someone who vomits from anxiety, but the whole first week of school I got sick every morning from my nerves. I also hardly ate during the day because of how anxious I was. I'd try to eat some cereal or salad, but that was all. As the weeks went on and my anxiety settled down, my appetite returned to normal and I was beginning to explore the beautiful city of Charleston. I began making friendships and memories with some amazing human beings who were sharing a similar journey. My roommates became my soul sisters who I felt connected to instantly. Soon enough, I had a friend group that helped ease my anxiety and really made Charleston start to feel like home. I don't even know if they understand how their presence helped me really start living again. It is so important to find people who will make you feel this way. When I would start to feel anxious in social situations early on, I would often want to seclude myself. You can not let your anxiety consume you and steal you away from the moment. When I would feel this way, I would take a minute alone to take some deep breathes and regroup. Embracing the present moment, with my new friends, helped me immensely. One particular friend felt a similar way that I did and, for awhile, we were able to find comfort in one another, which was beautifully reassuring. Our relationship was a breath of fresh air that helped me understand more of who I am and what I saw for myself at that stage of my life.

(My beautiful roomies & I!)

As classes started, I got into a routine. This was definitely the biggest factor in managing my anxiety. I'm on anxiety medication, but combined with that, doing natural things that increase your serotonin levels is so important. I can not stress that enough! Taking care of your mind, body, and soul is key! Everyday, and I mean every single day, I did some sort of movement. Whether that was going for a walk, run, bike ride, or 30 minutes at the gym. It did not have to be some intense workout, but simply, some sort of movement to get your heart racing. Even after just a two or three mile walk, I always found myself feeling happier and more connected to the present. In my daily routine, I always made sure to do the simple things like skin-care, drinking water, completing my school work, and keeping my space clean. Habits that seem small are actually very big and crucial.

While in college, something that can be difficult at times is maintaining a healthy and balanced diet. With limited options AKA the dining hall, a balanced diet can be challenging to uphold. I am not going to say that in my first-year I ate all whole, clean, and unprocessed foods. That would be a straight up lie. I think my roommates and I enjoyed Chinese at least once a week! However, you can watch your food habits and eat well when you can. For instance, some days instead of pasta, I would make myself a salad. Instead of getting a breakfast sandwich, I would eat a granola bar or make some oatmeal. I always found it helpful to keep some healthy snacks and food options in my dorm room. It is important to keep in mind what you are eating, because food affects the gut and your gut and mind go hand in hand. Along the same line, I also limit my caffeine consumption. I do treat myself to Starbucks or a downtown coffee shop, but not everyday. Caffeine is known to worsen anxiety symptoms, as it does so to mine, so this is something I decided to stay aware of.

Something else I find beneficial in my everyday college routine is practicing gratitude! Whether that is through journaling what you are grateful for or just sitting with your thoughts. Truly acknowledging the blessings in my life increased my mood profoundly and helped me focus on the good in my life, rather than my worries.

Do things you love! Something I grew to love about college is my freedom. I had the time to do all the things I love. I was often able to go to the beach, my happy place. Very frequently, my roommates and I would go to local markets and shop on King Street. We also spent lots of our time trying new restaurants and cafes. Spending time with the girls closest to me and doing what we loved just made life feel right. Conversely, I also grew to love my alone time, not in a sad or anxious way, but in a way where I could simply just sit with myself and do things like read, write, or self- care.

Something that is a part of my soul, and I find so important, is my faith. Without my faith and trust in God, I would not have been able to survive my first-year of college. The Lord has been with me every step of the way. It was through my anxiety and struggles, that I felt Him so near and close to my heart. My favorite Bible verse, 2 Timothy 1:7, says: "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self- control." I knew that the Spirit within me and God Himself would not let me down. I felt a calling to join a bible study, called Delight, and It was one of the best decisions I made during my first year. I was able to connect with this wonderful group of young women who have feelings and morals similar to mine. God is the only thing that is constant and eternal. Knowing God was always with me, despite my anxieties and mistakes, was so reassuring. Turning to Him and giving Him every tear and burden was the best thing I have ever done. I found Him to be my home.

To work through your college anxiety you have to believe that you can do it! Without that optimism and positive mindset, you can quickly fall into a dark hole. If you think negatively, everything around you is going to be seen in a negative manner. Everything affects everything. YOU have the power to create a college life you love and to live that life!

With all of these helpful routines and practices, I had a first-year full of so much love, happiness, and LIFE! I truly hope there is something you can take away from my personal experience and carry with you into your own college experience! I doubt my future posts will be this long, but I just had so much to discuss regarding this topic! I'll say this again, the power is yours! Control all the things you can. I hope this post reminds you that you are not alone with how you feel. Trust your gut and follow your dreams. You make the decisions in your life, not your anxiety. Enjoy college and make the most of it!

"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self- control." (2 Timothy 1:7)